Boyfriend of 4 years throwing me through a roller coster, please help!?

I know it's hard not being able to talk to someone, especially your boyfriend when he's supposed to be your best friend. It seems like he is just turning the situation around and trying to make you feel bad for the wrong things he is doing, which guys tend to do. Maybe when a fight happens, and he decides to "leave" you just need to stop trying to contact him, and let him come back to you. Let him be scared of losing something great he has. I know it may be hard to do, because you obviously care for him a lot if you're doing all these things for him. He just needs to mature.